(Two green chairs and two non-green chairs set up in a semicircle. A bag with bread on the ground. Seating goes Dr. Alverez, Florence, Chase, then Alan.)
Characters:
Dr. Alverez: well put together, very studied, a little jumpy from stress
Florence: obsessed with green, disheveled looking
Chase: looks a little more laid back than Dr. Alverez, twitches when he quacks
Alan: large glass, well-built, very studious

Alan: It’s good to see you, Mr. Grasshopper.
Chase: For the hundredth time, my name is Chase.
Florence: Could we (Chase quacks) possibly switch seats?
Chase: (turns to Florence) Why?
Florence: Well, that seat’s green, and I looooooove green. So could we (Chase quacks) possibly switch seats?
Alan: Ms. Ladybug, wouldn’t you be happier in Mr. Mantis’s seat? (Florence looks towards Dr. Alverez)
Florence: His seat is even greener. So is his shirt. (plays with Dr. Alverez’s shirt)
Dr. Alverez: Florence, I know you love green… (pushes hand away)
Florence: Oh yes, I do. I even had green to eat last night. Spinach, green pepper, lettuce, artichoke… (Alan is inspecting Chase’s hair)
Dr. Alverez: Yes yes, but what about your protein? (Chase fwaps at Alan, deterring him)
Florence: I had green eggs and ham, silly.
Alan: Why Miss Ladybug, don’t you ever eat anything that is not green?
Florence: (gasp) Not eat green!? Well that’s… that’s unholy!
Chase: We all know this already, (quacks) we go through this every week. (quacks)
Dr. Alverez: We (Chase quacks) know you get tired of this. Now all you have to do is stop quacking.
Chase: How am I suppose to stop quacking if all we ever talk about it Florence? (quacks)
Florence: I don’t even see why I’m here. I mean, what’s the problem with loving green? We (Chase quacks) should all love green.
Alan: Stop quacking, Mr. Grasshopper, you are not a duck and we (Chase quacks) are not surrounded by ducks.
Dr. Alverez: Alan, relax. How about you help Florence eat some of the spinach bread I brought with me today? (takes bread and gives it to Alan) (Alan takes Florence to the side)
Alan: I will only help if you call me by my correct name.
Dr. Alverez: (sighs) Fine, Mr. Blisterbeatle. Will you please help Florence now?
Alan: Most certainly. (takes Florence to the side)
Dr. Alverez: Now Chase, you need to stop quacking.
Alan: (hushed) would you like some? (Offers Florence the bread)
Chase: You say that every session, and we never get to the root of the problem. (quacks)
Florence: (wrinkles nose, hushed) No, thank you (pushes the bread away).
Dr. Alverez: I’m sensing some pent up aggression. Let’s try a new method. Do we (Chase quacks) have a problem with ducks?
Alan: (hushed) I must insist that you have some (pushes bread back).
Chase: you bet we do (quacks), my brother use to make the ducks at the farm chase me. He would even bring one in to sleep where we were. (quacks)
Florence: (hushed) I’m not really hungry.
Alan: Don’t you want to try a piece.
Dr. Alverez: (moves closer) When did you start quacking again?
Florence:  Is it green?
Chase: Around the time I was 16. My girlfriend and I were hanging out and she turned to me… we were on this couch, (quacks) ya know? Well she turned to me and said, “We’ll be together forever, right?” (quacks) and I quacked in her face. We broke up after that. (quacks)
Alan: Just try a piece
Florence: Noo! (Alan chases Florence)
Alan: But it’s good…
Dr. Alverez: close your eyes and think back to those nights, did the ducks quack when you were asleep?
Florence: BUT IT’S NOT GREEN! (runs across the stage)
Alan: BUT IT HAS GREEN SPINACH IN IT! (chases after her)
Dr. Alverez: (whispers) be quiet you two. (they stop on the opposite side to which they started)
Florence and Alan: Sorry, we will be. (Chase quacks)
Dr. Alverez: Did those ducks quacked as you slept?
Florence: Will you stop?
Chase: Yes, they did. (Alan tries to force Florence to take a bite)
Alan: just try a bite.
Dr. Alverez: now I want you to close your eyes and remember the last night the ducks were quacking before you and your girlfriends broke up.
Florence: But…I…Don’t…Want…A…Bite! (struggles with Alan)
Chase ok…
Dr. Alverez: Now wake up (Snaps fingers, Florence and Alan are struggling)
Alan: Yes…You…Do! (Almost gets Florence to take a bite)
Chase: (jumps) what, what just happened?
Dr. Alverez: We just got to the root of your problem.
Florence: How…would…you…knooow…What is Chase doing?
Chase: We did… we did. (smiles, looks like a child on a sugar high) We! WE! WE! WE! WE! AND NO QUACKS! (runs from the room) I’M FREE; I’M FREE TO SAY WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (Alan is able to get Florence to take a bite and swallow because of her shock at the strange behavior)
Dr. Alverez: (sighs, turns toward the other two) So, how goes the bread?
Florence: I guess it’s not so bad. (takes another bite, sits down in Chase’s abandoned green seat) It tastes green and I guess I could (swallows, Alan sits down as well) try other non… non… not so green items.
Dr. Alverez: Excellent, excellent, that should be wonderful. What are some of the foods you like Mr. Blisterbettle?
Alan: Oh, I must say that maple leaves are rather good but tomato leaves are even better…
Dr. Alverez: No, Alan. I mean human food. You know the food we put on our plates to eat.
Florence: Like salad.
Dr. Alverez: Yes, but we want foods that are not (Florence’s eyes get wide) so green (Florence relaxes).
Alan: Ah, yes, I do apologize for my unbecoming behavior.
Dr. Alverez: Not at all, not at all. But to continue, why don’t you suggest some foods for Florence to try?
Alan: But of course. (pause) I find carrot cake most delightful, and I always have a chocolate covered crickets. They are very crunchy. (Dr. Alverez looks a little sick.)
Florence: Aren’t crickets… green? (eyes show excitement)
Alan: yes but the chocolate around them is brown. Oh and spider pops. They taste so good.
Dr. Alverez: How about some meal foods?
Alan: Well, I’m told that ham and cheese is good. Supposedly fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches are good. Bananas are good in general but…
Dr. Alverez: thank you. I think we can work with those suggests, don’t you Florence?
Florence: certainly, Doc. Maybe you can show me some other foods, Mr. Blisterbettle.
Alan: (blushes) I guess I know a couple places. (Offers hand) Would you… would you like to accompany me for dinner tonight?
Florence: (takes Alan’s hand) I’d be delighted. (Walks out with Alan) did anyone ever tell you that you have the most amazing green eyes.
Alan: I’ve heard that a few times.
Dr. Alverez: I… (Stares after them) BUT WE STILL HAVE 5 MORE MINUTES! (Sighs) I’m the one that needs therapy (quacks)
(BLACK OUT)